It's that time of the year. Nasty chocolates, teddy bears and flowers will be filling the streets of Boston and the loners like me, will be binge watching Netflix, eating McDonald's and cuddling her dog. This year, I'll be celebrating Valentine's Day a single woman. I'd been in a somewhat serious relationship around this time last year so it definitely feels different. Even in high school, My mom used to hook me up with some cute shit- and make me feel loved... but this year, I'm actually looking forward to celebrating alone.
Not being in a relationship right now definitely has it's benefits, I think sometimes we begin to rely on our partner for happiness, and that's not healthy. Don't get me wrong, I think Valentine's Day is a cute holiday. Although I'm the girlfriend type that believes in showing love on a daily basis to your partner, I see nothing wrong with extra, gushy love. Having this time to yourself, when there was a point in life where you were up under someone almost 24/7 really forces you to think about you, and the multiple things you've always wanted to accomplish. It's honestly been a beautiful, yet bittersweet experience. As much as we try to fight it, love can be suffocating. In so many relationships, your love life becomes the hobby and everything you actually enjoyed doing prior to getting hitched, starts to become second place... and put on the side burner. This was something I'd experiences and as I'm positioning my life a little differently, I find myself getting into my passions and the things I love again. It keeps me busy, my mind occupied, and feels like a breath of fresh air, making my efforts to turn the page on certain aspects of my life a little easier. Now that I sit on the outside looking into other relationships, It hasn't made me jealous. Instead, I find myself optimistic that one day I'll be with someone that'll celebrate the holiday with me in hopes of ENHANCING our relationship, not MAKING it. To me this means, celebrating Valentines Day with Bae would be adorbz, but if we had nothing planned having him, ALL of him - mind, heart & soul - is enough.
There are so many relationships out there that need gifts to keep them together. Sis needs you to prove her worth by purchasing "red bottoms" and "he better give me a shopping allowance if he wants me to stay."For many, if the man can do these things, it automatically means he loves and values her. However, I always wonder what would happen if you removed the couture, the Cartier, and the cash, do ya'll have anything in common other than looking like the perfect couple? Does he cherish you? Value your opinion? Listen to what you have to say? RESPECTS you as a woman? Does he put you first? Can he communicate his feelings to you? Are you in tune with one another? Do YOU value him? Want what's best for him? Respect his input as YOUR man? Reciprocate if there is gift giving? If the answer is yes, it's sounds like a genuine, love based relationship. If it's no, you should really think about why you're with this person.
( psa: If you're my future husband and you're reading this... just know I still like gifts. This post doesn't mean you're off the hook. Do NOT play yourself! lol )
I decided to take this blog to social media to get a sense of how my peers, those in relationships & single felt about this "holiday" and I got some really amazing and surprising answers that I'd like to share with you:
The last question of my blog was: "What does love mean to you." And I felt like these followers really hit the nail on my head.
These were my favorite responses:
These feelings are what should be celebrated on Valentine's Day (really everyday, but you get the point). And although I'm chilling this year, I've experienced real, genuine love so there's no reason to be sad or lonely. Not only have I felt love, but I radiate it everyday. Whether it be the happiness I have in myself or the happiness I try and instill in others, I've been blessed that the void of loneliness could easily be filled. It was great reading the hearts of strangers and people I know. We all are on our own very different, yet real experiences with love and although the road might be long, reading messages like these strengthen my hope. As of matter of fact, it makes me proud of myself and how much living on my own, and college has matured me as a young woman. It makes me excited to embrace being single and not be embarrassed about it- and keep my heart open. AND it's taught me that just because it's open doesn't mean I'm stupid- so please don't try me... because you don't want the works.
I want to pass this question down to my readers!
What does love mean to you?
Happy Valentines Day Lovers!
Ladies! Go get your Barack huntyyyyyyy!
Brothas', your Michelle is waiting on you!